Blown away by someone’s strengths?

Hey there,

A few weeks ago, I had a meeting with someone who caught my attention.
She was magnetic, deep, expressive, wildly creative, and full of energy. The kind of person who lights up a room the second they walk in.

And within an hour of talking, she told me:

“I’ve finally accepted that it’s okay to say yes to something… and two hours later, feel like a no. I’m ok with changing my decisions constantly based on how my feelings change.”

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It was honest. It was raw. And it was a perfect example of today’s lesson:
Every strength you admire comes with opposite traits that may not be consistent with what you love.

We tend to focus so hard on what makes someone shine, that we forget to ask:

“What’s on the other side of this trait?”

And the more intense the strength, the more intense the cost.

The Bright Side Always Has a Back Side

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Let’s use a classic example: masculine vs. feminine energy (and we’re talking energy here—not gender).

Masculine energy is sharp. Structured. Focused.
It’s all about direction, results, precision, and drive.

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Feminine energy is expansive. Creative. Emotional.
It’s about flow, openness, depth, and expression.

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Both are powerful. Both are needed.
But when you choose someone for their intensity in one, don’t ignore what else comes with it.

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Let’s say you hire a salesperson who’s an absolute beast.
They’re magnetic in meetings, they close huge accounts, they walk into a room like Brad Pitt in Troy. That “different” energy.

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They will land the deal. No matter what.
But will they fill out the CRM?
Will they show up on time to internal meetings?
Will they follow structure?

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Most likely not.

On the flip side, you bring in someone extremely organized.
They document everything, show up early, crush admin work.
But do they have that same fire to hunt down million-dollar deals?

That’s the tradeoff.

3 Things to Remember Before You Hire (or Partner)

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1. Every strength has a cost

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We love strengths that shine—confidence, creativity, vision, drive.
But we forget: those traits are never isolated. They live on a spectrum. And on the other end of that spectrum? There’s always something harder to manage.
A visionary might be terrible at execution.
A high-performer might struggle with teamwork.
A bold communicator might bulldoze others without meaning to.

The question isn’t if there’s a downside. The question is:

Can you accept it, manage it, and still move forward?

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Quick tip:
When you're impressed by someone’s top trait, ask: “What would this look like on a bad day?”
If that version makes you pause, dig deeper before moving forward.

2. The more intense the trait, the more intense the shadow.

Intensity amplifies everything.
The more magnetic someone is, the more destabilizing they can become when things go sideways.
That salesman who can close the biggest deals? He might ghost meetings, miss deadlines, or crash the team dynamic with erratic behavior.
That emotionally open teammate who brings soul to the room? May also struggle to stay grounded under pressure.

Intensity is power—but it always cuts both ways.

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Quick tip:
Match intensity with role.
Someone with wild creative energy might crush it in ideation, but crash in operations. Don’t try to “fix” them. Just place them where their intensity helps instead of hurts.

3. The differentiator is self-awareness

Here’s the curveball: a strong trait with no self-awareness behind it becomes dangerous.
But that same trait—owned, understood, and managed? It’s gold.

I’ve seen passionate founders who know their energy can overwhelm others… so they pause, create space, and elevate the room. (I’m working personally on this).
That’s integration. That’s power with presence.

So the real question isn’t what traits do they have?
It’s: do they know how to hold them responsibly?

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Quick tip:
Ask them about a time their strength became a liability—and what they did about it.
If they can’t name one? They probably haven’t done the work.

Next time you’re wowed by someone’s energy, talent, or presence… take a step back.
Look at the whole person. Ask what might be hiding behind the thing that dazzles you.

Because strengths aren’t free—they always come with something else.

And if you want to build a team that can scale with you, not surprise you—this is where it starts.

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My 1:1 Tailored Scaling Blueprint Calls are still on waitlist only.
If you're building a team and want help choosing the right people—not just the shiny ones, get a personalized roadmap.

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Join the waitlist

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Or reply to this email. If you’re stuck navigating team dynamics or a tough hire, I’ll make sure you get the guidance you need.

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Talk soon,

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